Hey! The World Cup is in progress! Somebody, yeah those guys are really doing something and winning, or at least tying, and running around a lot while not scoring, and then there’s those colored cards the refs hold up… and… and … And I’ve opted for the World Series of Paint Drying instead.
The most exciting part of a soccer game on TV is the gecko hocking car insurance. If there were truth in advertising, TV ads pitching the games would announce “Soccer! It’s better than a stick in the eye… but not by much.” And how one would survive a live game (without getting %$#-$#@ drunk) is beyond me.
About the only positive thing I can say about the sport is the athletes are in shape. It really takes stamina to run around for an hour and half occasionally throwing hissy fits and pretending to be hurt when another player passes within a foot of you.
Now for the rest of the story. Who would invent, much less embrace a game where scoring (let’s call that success) is practically unheard of? My guess would be people who aren’t accustomed to and thus don’t place much value on success (let’s call that scoring); which seems to be just about everybody else on the planet, that’s who.
The freakin’ game can end in a tie for %$#& sake… “Yeeeaaaaa! Everybody wins.” And then there are the fans, slack jawed cretans who beat each other senseless while trashing various venues the game is played in.
Thus, I submit, soccer is the perfect analogy of the current world order. A whole lot of running around by idiots (players and fans) with not much accomplished; driving those few of us who like to accomplish substantive things mad…. MAAADDD!
Soccer is absolute proof that we Americans are indeed exceptional and superior to the rest of the world. We have football (real football) and to a lesser extent basketball. We also have baseball which is slightly more exciting than soccer in that some scoring does actually occur in between the endless spitting and scratching on the field. Baseball (in its defense) would be more interesting to watch if they would “just throw the dam ball already…”
Where was I… Oh yeah, soccer.
Unfortunately, the media seems to be indicating that soccer is becoming more popular in the United States; which wouldn’t surprise me. Obama elected (TWICE), the economy endlessly circling the porcelain, government corruption and spying… soccer… all signs it’s all going to hell and pointing to a leftist conspiracy to undermine all that is decent and holy.
How dare anyone care about a sport that countries other than America play! It’s definitely Obama’s fault. Any game poor people can play without expensive equipment or stadiums is socialist.
I’d re-up those meds if I were you… 🙂
>> It’s definitely Obama’s fault.
Nope.. Obama and Americans watching soccer are simply signs of the coming collapse. 🙂
Soccer is a good example of socialism, but it’s a better example of boring. 😛
>> Any game poor people can play without expensive equipment or stadiums is socialist.
Ummmm… Brazil spent $300 million dollars on a new stadium. Money that didn’t go to things government should spend money on (infrastructure, roads, schools, etc.) and the socialist are major pissed and protesting the World Cup because of it. Of course the police are cracking down hard on them.
And… I agree with them; probably not on what the money should go towards but we both agree it should not go towards sports (soccer) stadiums. At least the socialist in Brazil get that; the socialist in the U.S. don’t.
I fought against building four… FOUR… sports stadiums the twenty years I lived in Houston. Reliant Center (football), Toyota Center (basketball), Enron Field (now Minute Maid) (baseball), and even a goofy Soccer Stadium I don’t know the name of.
Also F.Y.I. in EVERY case it was the leftist (socialist) working with the likes of Ken Lay (remember him), and the rich elite who were pushing for the publicly built sports stadiums. It was always us conservatives and working folks fighting against them. We won only once and the Oilers moved to Tennessee… then we lost a few years later and got the Texans.
It’s conservatives that fight against expensive stadiums at taxpayer expense… not the socialist.
Good grief, I can’t even go on a boredom rant without you staying on message. 🙂
Uncle!
>> Good grief, I can’t even go on a boredom rant without you staying on message.
Thank you. I consider that a compliment. I’m like a terminator who has acquired a target. 🙂
A Terminator would be a funnier straight man. 🙂